The Bright Bird

[J. A. LLoyd]

To watch yet not observe.
To listen but not hear.
No joy nor nerve.
No sorrow nor fear.

Take the words in,
and spout them back out.
No evils nor sin.
No morals, no doubt.

No new thoughts,
nor words not taught.
All my mind rots,
and my wisdom is naught.

An original thought,
earns a lifetime of trouble.
All wisdom is fought,
for bursting Master's bubble.

A creature without merit,
a being enslaved.
The bright squawking parrot
is a mind depraved.

(Information: A few years ago, in my Creative Writing class, one of our assignments was to write a poem according to the topic: What animal do you believe best describes you/your emotions,feelings/your personality/etc?)

[Raymond Neely]

I enjoyed these poems of yours, greatly because they are well-rhymed. They seem to be abab or abcb rhyme scheme, your ordinary easy rhyme, which doesn't belittle the poet or poems, but maybe I would advise you to try a different rhyme and meter. Perhaps, write a poem with ten or eleven syllable lines and an abab bcbc cdcd dede efef ff rhyme scheme. This is a Spencerian sonnett. Look up some things about form poems online and try a few of the other forms, this will expand your poetry skills. I use a lot of "easy" rhyme in my poems, and it can be strong enough, but more complex is good to try.

Raymond Neely