Post by J. A. LLoyd on Dec 15, 2012 21:43:02 GMT -5
“Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e!”
They chant on and on and on and on, never stopping, never ceasing, and never running short of breath. How long can they go?
“Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e!”
29…30…31….32…
“Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e!”
33…34….35…
“Store-e! Store-e! Store-e!”
782….783…..
“Store-e! Store-e!”
I can’t take much more.
“Store…”
“FINE! I’ll tell you a story.”
“Yay!”
They gather in a circle, waiting for me to speak.
I’m standing here, sweating. Sweating after swimming in ice cold water. Lovely.
I don’t know any stories! I’ll have to make one up. Still, anything could be better than the ones they told. Full of twist endings, unexpected happenings, creepy letters in the mail, a message in a bottle…pathetic. What kind of camp is this, anyway? Why do they always try and be funny during the day and then tell the least scary stories you’ve ever heard at night? I’m never sending my kid here, not a snowball’s chance in lava, no sir. Not sending my kids here. Not to a camp that’s as dull and unfunny at day as it is boring and…unscary, is that the word? Can you think of a better word? No. Well then, yeah, that’s the word. Unscary. As dull and unfunny at day as it is boring and unscary at night. It wouldn’t be so bad though if just one person had a new story! The Burnt Bulb? Boring. The Tale of the Headless Horseman? I’ve heard it a million times. And don’t even get me started on The Comedic Spectre. Sheesh, can’t anyone make up a good ghost story anymore? Heck, can’t anyone even tell an old ghost story anymore? That’s not even talking about what goes on during the daytime. I swear, I’m surrounded by a bunch of little kids. Their stories aren’t funny, they’re not even fun. Their jokes are so old that Noah probably dropped ‘em off the ark! Their stories are boring enough to make Helen Keller want a pair of earplugs!
Not one! Not one of them can tell a good joke or a good story. Not one of them can be funny or scary. And now, it’s my turn. Well, who was I to talk? How can I tell a good story if I can’t think of one? I know a million ghost stories, but they’d go right over their heads. Besides, it’s day time. That’s the time when it’s supposed to be funny. How can I be funny if everything I say goes right over their heads? Oh, who am I kidding, anything I say will go over their heads! Well, might as well have some fun with it. Let’s see, what can I tell to this cliché camp? Hey, wait a minute…
“Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e! Tell-us-a-store-e!”
“That’s 789, and I’ve got your story.”
Silence. This ought to shut them up for a few hours.
“Have you heard the story of Camp Cliché?”
