Silly Rose

[pannt51]

“SILLY ROSE”

By: Patricia A. Turner

With the fragrance of a rose reaching out to tickle my nose, the
flower I could not ignore as its beauty my eyes did adore. Growing in
a garden, beautiful and wild, that rose swayed in the breeze as a naughty
child.
Reckless and daring, the dance of the rose, was to me, overpowering.
at my senses it did tease as my attention it did quickly seize. Adding to my
day a bit of cheer, the silly antics of the rose brought to my eyes a tear.
Kissed by the morning dew, the days of a rose are very few. Yet,
joy to me did that rose bring as to my heart a song it did sing.
Although its beauty lasted only a little while, that silly mischievous
rose made me smile.

[Raymond Neely]

Your poem rhymes as though written in couplets, yet your form is as prose, as in paragraphs. Try it as follows, and see if it reads more finely.

With the fragrance of a rose
reaching out to tickle my nose,
the flower I could not ignore
as its beauty my eyes did adore.

Growing in a garden, beautiful and wild,
that rose swayed in the breeze as a naughty child.
Reckless and daring,
the dance of the rose, was to me overpowering.

At my senses it did tease
as my attention it did quickly sieze.
Adding to my day a bit of cheer,
the silly antic of the rose brought to my eyes a tear.

Kissed by the morning dew
the days of a rose are very few.
Yet, joy to me did that rose bring
as to my heart a song it did sing.

Although its beauty lasted only a little while,
that silly mischievious rose made me smile.

[Raymond Neely]

I offered the above suggestion because I know that you are one who writes prose more lenghthily than poems run, and because I could tell that you were truly writing couplets. Look it over and tell me what you think as you certainly don't have to put it in the form of poetry as I suggest, but I think that it looks and reads better in stanzas as I have copied it for you above.

RN

[Raymond Neely]

The way I have it entered, it even has a closing couplet as do sonnets.

[Raymond Neely]

This is also a fine poem, many things about which could be said.

[pannt51]

Thank you, Raymond. I does indeed sound much better. Really I'm not much on poems since my writing mainly is in lenghty short stories and novels. I appreciate your addition. Maybe one day I can write poems the way they should be written. Thanks again.